Acidic soap

Its 6:30 in the evening. A ritual which is a pandemic of sorts begins in almost every household in india. People of different walks of life come together and take solace in a primitve ritual that in some way or the other gives them the strength to survive yet another day in this cruel world.

Yes, im talking about the soap drama or the "serial" as its popularly called in india.
I've warned people time and again not to go near the deadly "SOAP". But nobody took heed to my warning. They always said "Just one episode wont hurt .. just one". But that one episode is all it takes to get trapped in this space-time continuum.

As a humanitarian, i'll make sure that everyone gets the message ( Hence this post )

The following features best describe a crappy soap :

1. If the intro music lasts for 5 minutes of the air-time.
2. After the gruelling intro music, they make it mandatory to show the director's name for another 2 minutes.
3. The cast changes every 2 days.
4. The camera pans in so many directions and angles that it would give the coen brothers a servere complex.
5. The grandma lives for 200 years and yet she never makes it in the world records.
6. The vamp kills everyone in the family, even the dog ( to claim right over property of its dog food ).
7. The dog's family vows vendetta on the vamp. Dialogues such as "It takes a bitch to kill a bitch" follows .
8. The deceased return only to reveal that they had made plastic replicas of the whole family. The vamp was duped into thinking that they were real.
9. The vamp turns into a good person only to reveal that she is from a different planet called zorman where its tradition to kill families for no apparent reason.
10. The family forgives the vamp and get probed by the aliens and live happily ever after on the planet zorman, trying to find ways to kill each other.
11. When the show finally gives up on a storyline ( if it ever had one that is ), it has taken a toll on your IQ which has drastically reduced.

What the hell is going on in television these days ? Whatever happened to quality televison ??

As if the soaps dint shove enough bullshit down our throats, reality television appears out of nowhere. The irony of reality televsion is that contrary to the name ITS NOT REAL !. Celebrities quarrel and fight just to increase the TRP ratings (never really understood these ratings) by a point. So what if some nympho gets dumped by a guy high on cocaine ... i dont need to know that shit !!

Anyone who can remember the late 80s and the early 90s will cherish the good ol' DD days when TV shows had substance or atleast a friggin SCRIPT !!. Shows like byomkesh bakshi, Flopshow (probably the funniest show on indian television), Mahabharath ( The roads went empty when the show was aired every evening ) and various other shows from our childhood.
Although many will disagree with me, i call the early 90s the golden era of indian television.
I want those shows back.

But its too much to ask for. We know that more bullshit awaits us. Our future is filled with crap. Our children shall watch more crap. It shall be the crap that binds us all.

The Future :
The #1 movie in America was called "Ass." And that's what it was. For 90 minutes. It won four Oscars that year, including best screenplay.

NO TALENT ASSCLOWNS ON NOTALENT TV SHOWS>>>