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Anyone who has a moral dilemma over alcohol, DUI and tobacco may stop reading this post or shove a salad up their arse.
A typical evening in the lives of me and my buddies is pretty much get drunk, eat, play some counter-strike and hit the sack. Its the kind of wasteful existence that a person can get used to and he does.
The Car-o-Bar has become such an intrinsic part of our lives. As my friend aptly put it ... "We dont drive drunk .. we just drink while driving ... there's a difference". Me sir am just happy enough to agree with him.
Open up the cold ones and do the honours.
We drive around for half and hour , the cold ones on our laps .... slowly sipping down one after another ... until our senses are partially numb and the music in the car just cant get any louder. Open the door and slide the empty beer bottles below the car, oh so stealthily!
The walk from the car to the restaurant is probably the only time that there is a sprint of happiness in our steps.
There is nothing more gastronomical than a succulent grilled chicken after a cold brew. The aftermath is a satisfied human and a devastated bird. Food for the gods indeed.
And then the sweet gods of tobacco call you, as though it were aphrodite herself seducing you to eternal damnation.
Then the pink floyd song plays in the background.
"Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar. you're gonna go far,
You're gonna fly high, Youre never gonna die,
Youre gonna make it if you try;
Theyre gonna love you."
We are the mindless hippies of this generation.
Coz for now i dont care... Im living my life... wasteful as it may seem... Shocking to the mormon... Pleasing to the devil.
Im the all drinking, all eating, crap of the world.
Its 6:30 in the evening. A ritual which is a pandemic of sorts begins in almost every household in india. People of different walks of life come together and take solace in a primitve ritual that in some way or the other gives them the strength to survive yet another day in this cruel world.
Yes, im talking about the soap drama or the "serial" as its popularly called in india.
I've warned people time and again not to go near the deadly "SOAP". But nobody took heed to my warning. They always said "Just one episode wont hurt .. just one". But that one episode is all it takes to get trapped in this space-time continuum.
As a humanitarian, i'll make sure that everyone gets the message ( Hence this post )
The following features best describe a crappy soap :
1. If the intro music lasts for 5 minutes of the air-time.
2. After the gruelling intro music, they make it mandatory to show the director's name for another 2 minutes.
3. The cast changes every 2 days.
4. The camera pans in so many directions and angles that it would give the coen brothers a servere complex.
5. The grandma lives for 200 years and yet she never makes it in the world records.
6. The vamp kills everyone in the family, even the dog ( to claim right over property of its dog food ).
7. The dog's family vows vendetta on the vamp. Dialogues such as "It takes a bitch to kill a bitch" follows .
8. The deceased return only to reveal that they had made plastic replicas of the whole family. The vamp was duped into thinking that they were real.
9. The vamp turns into a good person only to reveal that she is from a different planet called zorman where its tradition to kill families for no apparent reason.
10. The family forgives the vamp and get probed by the aliens and live happily ever after on the planet zorman, trying to find ways to kill each other.
11. When the show finally gives up on a storyline ( if it ever had one that is ), it has taken a toll on your IQ which has drastically reduced.
What the hell is going on in television these days ? Whatever happened to quality televison ??
As if the soaps dint shove enough bullshit down our throats, reality television appears out of nowhere. The irony of reality televsion is that contrary to the name ITS NOT REAL !. Celebrities quarrel and fight just to increase the TRP ratings (never really understood these ratings) by a point. So what if some nympho gets dumped by a guy high on cocaine ... i dont need to know that shit !!
Anyone who can remember the late 80s and the early 90s will cherish the good ol' DD days when TV shows had substance or atleast a friggin SCRIPT !!. Shows like byomkesh bakshi, Flopshow (probably the funniest show on indian television), Mahabharath ( The roads went empty when the show was aired every evening ) and various other shows from our childhood.
Although many will disagree with me, i call the early 90s the golden era of indian television.
I want those shows back.
But its too much to ask for. We know that more bullshit awaits us. Our future is filled with crap. Our children shall watch more crap. It shall be the crap that binds us all.
The Future :
The #1 movie in America was called "Ass." And that's what it was. For 90 minutes. It won four Oscars that year, including best screenplay.
NO TALENT ASSCLOWNS ON NOTALENT TV SHOWS>>>
